This Girl Can and I Feel Pretty Feedback

	Extract	WWW	EBI	What terminology or theories could have been	Rewritten version (chose one of the exemplars)
Exemplar 1	In the ‘I Feel Pretty’ advert the protagonist Maria Sharapova is solely empowered via a series of close ups and mid shots where shallow focus and tracks are used in order to keep the audiences’ attention on her. As well as all of the other actors’ are watching her as they all sing the song. Eyeline matches are used to show that the actors are watching the protagonist throughout. This empowers the protagonist, as she is a young woman receiving everyone’s attention even that of the advert’s John McEnroe whose appearance is significant due to his famous tennis profile as an angry and foul-tongued sportsman.	She/he described the it very clearly and used lots of media terminology. She/he illustrated their knowledge of feminism and how women are being treated.	There is no need to mention the name of famous tennis player instead he could of picked out more point about the advert and added them in.	. representation .Van zoonen .shot types	In the ‘I feel pretty’ advert the protagonist Maria Sharapova is shown as an important woman via a series of close ups and mid shots where shallow focus and tracks are used in order to keep the audience’s attention on her. Furthermore, the other actors in the video look at her which can suggest that she important for society. She is receiving everyone’s attention as she is a young beautiful woman and Van zoonens theory can be applied to this as she is being objectified as beautiful throughout the video, which means no matter what sport girls do they should always be considered always beautiful and objectified as beautiful. However, in this girl can advert woman are represented as powerful and unique. The connotation that woman are playing sport suggests that they can dominate man and show them that they are not the only ones that can play physical sports. In ‘I feel pretty’ advert Maria Sharapova is shown wearing a tight costume which shows a bit of her cleavage, this suggests that woman are always portrayed as sexual objects. Van zoonen theory can be applied here of woman bodies always being objectified. In the advert people are singing and the idea that Maria Sharapova does not take notice can suggest she is focused woman and does not take effect on the paparazzi as she is walking up right looking powerful making the others around her look weak.
Exemplar 2	This Girl Can advert encourages women to support each other. A long shot captures women in the ad hugging each other. This suggests that one aim of the ad is to unite females. A sound technique that further supports this point is diegetic sound. In the changing room, the woman’s rugby team can be heard chanting. This suggests that the director wants women to work together as one. Therefore, this ad can be seen as a response to the jealousy we typically see from women nowadays like in the Nike Advert. Both adverts show that women can be more than just “pretty”. In the two adverts we see the over-the-shoulder show being used to show the women putting their make-up on. In the Nike ad sound techniques and camera techniques reveal that people are surprised by Sharapova’s tennis ability. When she returns the serve the camera does a whip pan. Commonly a whip pan suggests that the camera was surprised by the activity. In addition, from the diegetic sound, we can hear the crowd is silenced by her shot.	She/he analyses the adverts with details and uses media terminology to describe the scene and meaning of it. She/he understands the meaning of the advert  and responds with great knowledge.	She/he can add more vivid details instead of always mention this suggest or therefore, they can expand their answer.	Van zoonen Bell hooks The use of different shot  types or editing.
Exemplar 3	Through the use of a crosscut we recognize that Sharapova has changed her costume from a white costume to her chosen dress. The dress is another symbol of femininity. She is also shown wearing jewelry: necklace and earrings. This is evident in the beginning and end of the advert. The use of an over-the-shoulder shot and handheld camera shot allows us to notice it. However, in the This Girl Can jewelry isn’t noticeable as their unique selling point was to put forward that woman can do anything and that women are strong, determined and fierce. This supports the success of feminism and how it has progressed and gained attention throughout all the three feminist waves. The idea of the women in the advert being strong is evident in the head on shot with a girl boxing. Boxing is known to be a physical sport, mainly dominated by males, however, this shot take disapproves that ideology. The idea of the woman being focused and determined is clear in Sharapova’s advert. Many close-ups show her facial expressions. Her facial expression gives the impression that she is completely ‘zoned in’ and focus. One could suggest the music and the over exaggerated singing are distractions for Sharapova. However, the fact that she doesn’t notice or acknowledge everyone singing further emphasises that idea that she is focused. A zoom and slow motion is used to show the woman struggling but carrying on in the This Girl Can advert. This references the title ‘This Girl Can’ and refers to the voiceover, which is meant to be motivated. The idea of struggles is evident in the Sharapova advert. We see a constant struggle for Sharapova as she’s constantly being bombarded by the paparazzi when she’s in the car and when she’s entering the arena. There’s a track to represent the paparazzi following her, which gives the audience an idea of how hard and how public life is.	She/he used loads of terminology and they analyzed the advert with great vivid details and shown clear understanding of both adverts. They used great knowledge of how woman are being represented and shown in the two adverts. Furthermore, they use great examples from the adverts which demonstrates she/he have great ideas of how woman should be treated and honored.	The person can improve of structuring  the paragraph better and use more terminology and more shot s otherwise this is a great standard work	Van zoonen Bell hooks Judah Butler Sound Editing
Exemplar 4	In the “This Girl Can” advert uses a different approach instead of showing how much of an inspiration one woman –Maria Sharapova – is, they decide to show how inspirational all types of women can be. They successfully achieve this through a montage. This montage shows women sweating and smiling. This connotes to us that they have been partaking in activities. This shows us that there’s no longer the restrictions that there once were surrounding women and sport. Also, during this montage there was a range of women. There were white women, black women, Muslim women and a disabled woman. This connotes to the audience that there isn’t one type of woman that isn’t capable of partaking in sports. This is helped through the narrator’s use of direct address, “and your great grandmother”. This direct address is used to try and inspire and add a personal side to the advert. In this montage, Judith Butler’s gender performativity theory is present. This theory states that when you were younger, society made you act a certain ways, the way that your gender is ‘supposed to act’. However, as you grow up, you start to act independently and in a way you think you should act. The examples of this come through with girls with short/shaved hair, a stereotypically male thing.	This person understands Judah Butlers theory and demonstrates some knowledge of the adverts, the person illustrates the meaning of some of the signifiers in the advert.	The person needs to make their paragraph clearer and add more terminology and use variation of the adverts and expand on his answers instead of always writing few words. They need to demonstrate greater knowledge  of the adverts and pick out more shots in order to help the demonstrate ideology and terminology	Representation Shots Sound Editing Van zoonen
Exemplar 5	In the beginning of the “I Feel Pretty” advert, van Zoonen’s theory that women’s bodies are objectified is displayed as Maria Sharapova looks directly into the mirror. A medium shot is used to show the audience Maria trying to put on a serious look, so dhe feels confident, which may enable her to win the match. This is very typical of a woman to do looking at the mirror so that they feel nice and beautiful, because in reality sport stars like Maria Sharapova will be judged on their appearance more than men, so this pressures women to look nice and presentable. There is a voiceover that says “well she should win,” this is referring back to sharapova that there is an expectation to win the game so in order for her to feel confident and have the greater possibility to win she has to psych herself up. Butler and van Zoonen’s theory are linked in the part of the advert whre the audoience see Sharapova walking in the corridor and a cleaner is standing there singing. The use of the long shot used shows the height difference, which may emphasise the status difference for example Sharapova is taller than the lady, this may have been presented to show the audience how important Sharapova is and the ordinary lady who works as a cleaner has no importance. Also, Sharapova’s costume is very tight fitted on her body, which exposes a bit of cleavage and stomach this links to Butler’s theory that woman and men have to wear and act certain things as well as that van Zoonen says women’s bodies are seen as objects. Sharapova is dressed that way so we can see how her costume brings out her well worked out bodt. Also, it may influence her to show off some skin, as the media often portrays women as objects and to label women who show off a bit of skin and cleavage as sexy, but women who dress more conservatively as boring.	This person has put forward great knowledge of the advert and has used great theories examples, which can connote they have analyzed the advert with loads of terminology and has used great examples from the advert. This person demonstrates the idea of objectification really clearly and knowledgably. They have understood what the advert is trying to put forward and explains the meaning. They also pick the most little point and explain them in detail.	This person should of talked about the advert as well and if they did they talk about the advert they could of used the same details as they did in this one which could of demonstrate great understanding of both adverts and knowledge, otherwise this exemplar has shown great understanding	Bell Hooks Sound Editing
Exemplar 6	In the second advert ‘This Girl Can’ tries to convey to the audience the diversity that women have gained. The visuals of the advert are colourful and eyecatching there are many close ups of their facial expressions. They are seen to be cheerful. This could be linked to the fact women have a lot more opportunities in society and are able to do what make them happy. In this advert they are embracing what women are capable to doshowing the maternal side and the sporty side that a woman can possess. One camare movement is tracking as they follow the characters when they are taking part in an activity.	This person have used great terminology and understanding of the advert, they have explained it in detail and used shots and explained the meaning of them.	They can expand their answers and use more vivid details and show better knowledge of the advert.	Bell Hooks Representation Sound More shots Editing Judah Butler Van zoonen